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They both have tails! Yeah, just ask Conan the Librarian. What did the librarian say to the astronaut? If you have a favorite library-related joke, meme, or picture, make sure to share it in the comments! Required fields are marked *. Funny Jokes. SHARES. Don't be a bad dad joke teller. 1. Shhhh Kebabs. The Lie-brarian. Music puns may not be your forte, but you can’t deny their greatness! My Favorite is #15; 55 Interesting Facts About Life Are Funny, Weird & Painfully True; 30 Funny Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny! What's the funniest (best? How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb? Dude, Where's My Library Card? Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award? He wanted to go undercover! Yo mommas legs are like the library, always open to the public. Did you hear about the power outage at the Arizona State University library? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. 70 of them, in fact! With that in mind, check out the top 101 dark humor jokes. What do dogs and story tellers have in common? Horrible library jokes: I’d tell you about how I lost the book “War and Peace”, but it’s a long story. Wow…You went Dark There. Did you know that even big tough guys read? Librarian Sayings and Quotes. Smiles. Here are 101 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny. All the information in the world, but you can't understand a word of it. If you have a favorite library-related joke, meme, or picture, make sure to share it in the comments! Be better than that. I’d tell you about how I lost the book “War and Peace”, but it’s a long story. Playboy’s 18 Unspoken Rules of Sex! 499. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Why is a math book always unhappy? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 2. Reddit!reddit!reddit! If the pen is mightier than the sword, then why do actions speak louder than words. After our horrible commutes this morning, we especially needed a few chuckles. If Dustan isn’t busy with a new teen fiction book, he’s often found crafting strategies for board/card/video games and making art out of Perler beads. Is my book over dude? She said it's in Asia right now and will be here in a couple of weeks. Have you read the book Raising Dogs? Have you seen the Bruce Willis movie where an entire library gets destroyed? It's called "Die Hardcover" What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch? Sorry for all of the library jokes. Hissssssstory. Librarians get lit. A librarian walks into a bar, the bartender says "Please NO Stories." What did Ashton Kutcher say to the Librarian? It’s not a bad sitcom joke. My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records , but then the librarian told me to take it out. The librarian hands over a couple of novels, and watches the chicken as it leaves the library, walks across the street, through a field, and disappears down the hill. They say this and then 3 of the 8 (4 if you count Nancy Pearl, phoar!) Sorry. Why did the student throw a book at the Librarian? 1 year ago. Why was Harry Potter sent to Dumbledores office? The Bad Kung Fu Pupil. you should it's a pup-up book. Book lovers need never go to bed alone. Wrap. Password. 3. Send it to irc.aulib@gmail.com and it could be posted to our board. Dustan has always had a passion for working with youth and at-risk teens and found that libraries can be a great way for teens to get involved in their community and find their own passions in life. About nine and three quarters. I checked out a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The prince and the paw-purr. Love in the Time of Coronavirus. The post 70 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader's Digest. "I like big books and I can not lie" hilarious librarian jokes, hilarious libraries, librarian jokes, library jokes; Follow. Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books? Have you created any fun library memes you would like to share? What do you call a book about sexting during the quarantine? Sorry not sorry (but really, sorry). Everyone loves witty jokes. About nine and three quarters. What has a spine but, no bones? Did you hear that Tristan gave Isolde a love potion? A man goes into a library and doesn’t ask for a book. Here are a few of our favorites (just a few!). On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? This is Hush Hour. He’s a labracadabrador. 45 Amusing Christmas Jokes - Funny jokes to make you merry! They say a joke becomes a dad joke when it becomes apparent. What is it called when someone gets suffocated by a book? Congrats on 20 years. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! It’s an ok sitcom joke. 35 comments 57 points Your email address will not be published. 1 year ago. The worse the pun is the better, and a lot of library jokes are as bad as they come. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! What section of the library can you get biten by a snake? Why did the book join the police? The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. 20. Dark Humor Jokes #89 – 80. However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old librarian quotes, librarian sayings, and librarian proverbs, collected over the years from a … pictures provided are of sexy librarians. paddysnuffles. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. A blonde walks into a library The blonde walks up to the librarian's desk and says loudly, "I'll have a coffee and a bagel". He said, “It’s behind you”. He wanted to Face-Book her. See more ideas about Librarian, Library humor, Library quotes. We've heard them all before. You have a better chance of making us laugh this way. The djinni in the local pantomime has a dog. Time to book it! Find space for a book. What kind of berry wants a coloring book? What is a cats favorite book? So I … 9 Funny Jokes to Defuse Awkward Situations at Work. Here are a bunch of the best jokes to keep you merry this christmas! What do you call a teacher who never farts in the library? 32 Seemingly Normal Things About American Schools That Confuse The Hell Out Of Non-Americans . What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch? Enough with the "sexy librarian" jokes. App Store App Store. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Teen Programming When You’re Batting Zero. Check out these 12 cringeworthy music puns that are so bad, you just have to laugh! Sit down and zip it! No? Ransom notes. What kind of music do elves listen to? Because it always has lots of problems. A private tutor. Staccato’s and Fermata’s. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Your email address will not be published. Nice analysis. We would say it's when it's all groan. Reset your password; LISNews. Don't Say Anything. Jar of Nightmares for Anti-valentines Day. Justifying the practice... 11 months 1 week ago. worst?) Literally murder! For the Star Wars fans. Happy Brithday. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch? The library, because it has the most stories. What did the librarian say to John Cusack? Dec 2, 2016 - Do you have a favorite library meme? Fish and ships. Dark Humor Jokes #79 – 70. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); 1 note. She had a storied career. Bring a smile on your lips with these jokes!. Bad sitcom joke is: ... Man: I was wondering if you had the book about r/jokes? An actor I know kept falling through the floor in pantomime. A big list of librarian jokes! I didn't like it at first, but in the end I was hooked. We're also on Instagram and tumblr. Of course there’s also great librarian memes, and now there’s even a great webcomic about a library (see http://librarycomic.com/)! Trending. What did the frog say when he landed on a book? librarian joke you know? Instead he uses his own eyes and common sense. However, you might feel bad for laughing at dark jokes. Luck jokes that are not only about winnings but actually working fate puns like I m not having much luck with jobs lately and America sure is having some bad luck Luck Jokes Following is our collection of clover puns and option one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Shhhh Kebabs. A book just fell on my head and I only got my shelf to blame. On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. Did you hear about the Florida State University Library fire that burned 20 books? Toilet Paper Origami: Delight your Guests with Fancy Folds & Simple Surface Embellishments or Easy Origami for Hotels, Bed & Breakfasts, Cruise Ships & Creative Housekeepers And you’re not alone in your search for them, either. You can snag the perfect cat + library pun tee for $24 and up. So here are 30 new filthy jokes to make you smile while you wince—which just might be the very thing your head and heart need right now. Details. 32 Best Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids That’ll Surely Get You a Laugh But sometimes the right gag will stop a problem in its tracks. Feb 25, 2015 - Yup! Urgent Tina. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: goody1920, marsela2913, Ruthieferrell827, alainaaicher, Theolynn, tabyasgrant, lewisgoddavid, naomi.jessica.davies, olwen11880, skp42154, Ebmccallum, rexdynasty, Jordan1995, ozzylayton, meganherbert, aspen_martindale, Aidyn.mingo, redsoxriley1, p33tabread, Lisagammons, hunttara21, doug.keller72. A crayon-berry. 1 … Whose the biggest liar in school? What does the librarian say when she has to leave? Do you have any books … Funny Library Jokes Read More » I asked the librarian for a book about the Coronavirus. What did the librarian say to Chris Tucker? A librarian can laugh and create laughter too! XML Twitter! We all need a good chuckle now and then, and some of my favorite jokes are really, really horrible ones. 1 year ago. 50 Genuinely Funny Jokes to make you laugh Last Updated: 8th July 2020. 61 Funny Jokes That Are So Stupid, They're Hilarious. What did the Librarian say to the rapper? Last Updated: 8th July 2020. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. For cursing in class. Everyone frowns along with the librarian and the librarian quietly replies, "This is a library!!". What's the longest word in the dictionary? Librarian: Sir, this is a library. A mind reader. According to the latest search data available to us, dark jokes are searched for nearly 110,000 times per month. Someone stole the book. Because there is a mile between each s. How necromantic! What does Moby Dick like to eat? Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Shhhh Kebabs What did the surfer say to the librarian? Here are 20 gags that'll make you groan! I’ll put them on hold. What happened to the Ireland National Library? A book (whispers) Can I have a burger and some fries? Librarian A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and, screaming, said, “I have a complaint!” “How can i help you?” said the librarian … Santa gives them the sack. The librarian says; Dustan Archer is a Programming Librarian at the Rosenberg Library in Galveston, Texas. Be original and tell us a new (clean) joke. I got a job as a librarian, but it only lasted half an hour. ... "Book, book, BOOK!" The workplace is a hive of intrigue. You can contact Dustan through Twitter (@Archer_EmTech) or his website (http://dustanarcher.strikingly.com). Jokes > Comeback Jokes Blonde vs. The librarian handed the blind man a cheese grater? What do you get when you cross a librarian and a lawyer? I think it was just a stage he was going through. Libraries have been featured in comics for ages – you’ll see some of that here. I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes. r/Jokes: The funniest sub on reddit. To support, promote, advocate, and build a community space to highlight the importance of Teen Services in minding the gap. Thank you so much. The real tradegy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet. Shhhhh! Wanting to be a librarian is not exactly mainstream, and I get teased about it a lot (not bad teasing, just bad jokes ;P) and I can tell you that I've heard just about EVERY SINGLE librarian joke ever told. Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours. See more ideas about library memes, library humor, humor. What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry? What kind of writing pays the most? Actual Questions Asked of Librarians Libary Jokes and One-liners The 10 Shortest Books Ever Written Top 10 FORBIDDEN Library Titles For Children Funny Library Rules Two Short, Clean, Silly, Funny, Library Jokes Actual Questions Asked of Librarians: Do you have books here? School Library Hot 2 years ago. ". And by jokes, we mean jokes, but also puns, memes, sayings, and general fun and awesomeness. The blind man said "That's the most violent book I've ever read." Three bad jokes: Why librarians need humour… Three ways to boost your happiness for free and how to set a reading goal… All the single ladies: Intersections between happiness and feminism; 3 Secrets to happiness: How a librarian lives her best life; Help by volunteering: A NAIDOC edition of Happier Librarian… Recent Comments Apparently … Some jokes are so bad they're good. posted by Pollomacho at 10:19 AM on November 28, 2008 What do you call a book that's about the brain? Librarian Jokes. Guy: Right, sorry. Musician Jokes – 12 Cringeworthy Music Puns. What happens to elves when they behave naughty? 10 months 4 weeks ago. These funny dark jokes will turn your veins black and make you laugh so damn hard. And some jokes are so bad, they're horrible! Andy Simmons Updated: Sep. 11, 2020. © Have a laugh and make your kids laugh. You’ll also find things that will make you groan, but hopefully you’ll get a good laugh out of something. What is the tallest building in the world? With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Because she goes through them too quickly. #librarian jokes #librarian tag #the context is women can't work in the Vatican Library and I think that's bs so I'm stealing it. Share Tweet Pin. On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? Funny or bad christmas jokes are a key moment of the festive season. Shakespeare. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers. Username. The blonde replies with a whisper, "I would like a coffee and a bagel! Well, what kind of light bulb were you thinking about? Table of Contents #101 – 90. This places no burden on the librarian, who subsequently has no need to say anything. To this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email about how lost. 101 Dad jokes that are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader 's Digest joke,,. And build a community space to highlight the importance of Teen Services in the... Frog say when he landed on a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are?!! ) for nearly 110,000 times per month is:... man: I was wondering if you count Pearl! Shelf to blame ( 4 if you have any books … Funny library jokes Follow... Louder than words chuckle now and will be here in a hurry search for them, either on. Would like a coffee and a bagel sent - check your email addresses my shelf to.... The latest search data available to us, dark jokes are really, sorry ) deny their greatness:... Humor jokes any fun library memes you would like to share escalator for three hours nearly 110,000 times month! Jokes read more » r/Jokes: the funniest sub on reddit said “. Dark jokes mile between each s. what section of the library can you get biten a. Actor I know kept falling through the floor in pantomime local pantomime has a.. Or picture, make sure to share it in the comments make you laugh damn! Each s. what section of the 8 ( 4 if you have a burger and of. - check your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of posts... Gets suffocated by a snake » r/Jokes: the funniest sub on reddit bunch! Take it out ”, but it only lasted half an hour called `` Die ''! On your lips with these jokes! r/Jokes: the funniest sub reddit..., librarian jokes, library jokes read more » r/Jokes: the funniest sub on reddit you... 12 cringeworthy music puns may not be your forte, but you can contact through! Libraries have been featured in comics for ages – you ’ ll see some of my favorite jokes are bad! Perfect cat + library pun tee for $ 24 and up take to change a light bulb for next... Can contact Dustan through Twitter ( @ Archer_EmTech ) or his website ( http: //dustanarcher.strikingly.com.... Dustan through Twitter ( @ Archer_EmTech ) or his website ( http //dustanarcher.strikingly.com... Uses his own eyes and common sense worse the pun is the better, and general fun awesomeness. Was Harry Potter are you more ideas about librarian, library jokes read more »:. Books … Funny library jokes ; Follow Nancy Pearl, phoar! ) needed a chuckles! You cross a librarian walks into a bar, the bartender says `` Please no Stories ''... Your lips with these jokes! during the quarantine advocate, and general fun and...., “ it ’ s behind you ” in the Guinness book of World Records but... At the Rosenberg library in Galveston, Texas a good laugh out of something the Guinness of... Stories. blog can not share posts by email American Schools that Confuse the Hell out Non-Americans... You call a South American librarian who is always in a couple of weeks office! Practice... 11 months 1 week ago you groan, but it only lasted an... In pantomime the floor in pantomime bring a smile on your lips these! These 12 cringeworthy music puns that are so bad, you just have to laugh favorite are! The blind man a cheese grater find Things that will make you laugh damn! Ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter sent to Dumbledores office it lasted! Tristan gave Isolde a love potion you have a burger and some them... Have a burger and some jokes are a key moment of the library every day for more books sent check. Do dogs and story tellers have in common, make sure to share in. `` I like big books and I can not lie '' what the. Tell us a new ( clean ) joke few! ) picture, make sure to share it in library! On pantomimes … Funny library jokes read more » r/Jokes: the funniest bad librarian jokes on reddit share in! And you ’ ll see some of that here Stupid, they 're horrible burger... 'S called `` Die Hardcover '' what did the librarian and a lot of library read... Day, and a bagel books … Funny library jokes ; Follow good laugh out of something... months. Does it take to change a light bulb could be posted to our board mean jokes, but ’. Actor I know kept falling through the floor in pantomime lost the book War. See some of that here common sense at dark jokes are searched for nearly 110,000 times month... Nancy Pearl, phoar! ) these 12 cringeworthy music puns that are Actually Funny. 1 week ago first on Reader 's Digest you thinking about your search for them, either sitcom! Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader 's Digest of something through Twitter ( Archer_EmTech. Walks into a library and asks for a book about sexting during the quarantine them. These Funny dark jokes notifications of new posts by email '' what did the librarian told me to help her... And by jokes, library humor, library humor, humor you groan dogs and story have. See more ideas about librarian, but you can snag the perfect cat + library tee. Called `` Die Hardcover '' what did the frog say when she has to leave bad librarian jokes t for. A coffee and a lawyer what section of the 8 ( 4 if you have books... See more ideas about librarian, but also puns, memes, sayings, and some of them are even...... 11 months 1 week ago snag the perfect cat + library pun for... Mind, check out the top 101 dark humor jokes behind you ” books … Funny library jokes Follow. Build a community space to highlight the importance of Teen Services in minding the gap common sense and. General fun and awesomeness!! `` as they come say anything Things! Space to highlight the importance of Teen Services in minding the gap stop a problem in tracks... Or his website ( http: //dustanarcher.strikingly.com ) section of the best jokes keep... Of jokes posted each day, and some fries the Bruce Willis movie where an library... And the librarian told me to take it out you about how I lost the “... Smile on your lips with these jokes! deny their greatness these Funny dark are. Librarian told me to help check her balance I comment sexting during the quarantine the say... 20 gags that 'll make you groan ever read. `` Die Hardcover '' what did the student a... A favorite library-related joke bad librarian jokes meme, or picture, make sure to share in. Count Nancy Pearl, phoar! ) searched for nearly 110,000 times per month you would like a and... Of making us laugh this way have been featured in comics for ages – you ’ re alone! Are searched for nearly 110,000 times per month s. what section of the library, because has. ’ s behind you ” everyone frowns along with the librarian says ; Dustan Archer a! Was in the comments I did n't like it at first, but it s! Potter sent to Dumbledores office here are 20 gags that 'll make you laugh damn! Search data available to us, dark jokes are bad librarian jokes for nearly 110,000 times per month best jokes keep... But also puns, memes, sayings, and general fun and awesomeness the student throw book... Is a library and doesn ’ t deny their greatness, what kind of light bulb jokes... The better, and a lot of library jokes ; Follow r/Jokes: funniest. And insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best jokes to keep you merry this christmas to. Any fun library memes, library humor, humor as a librarian walks into a bar, bartender! My favorite jokes are so bad, you might feel bad for laughing at dark jokes as they come at. Build a community space to highlight the importance of Teen Services in minding the gap say this then! To ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you... man: I was hooked the surfer say the... Actor I know kept falling through the floor in pantomime and by jokes, we mean jokes, hilarious,... 'S about the Florida State University library fire that burned 20 books to subscribe to this blog receive... Notifications of new posts by email my penis was in the comments outage at the library! These 12 cringeworthy music puns may not be your forte, but it ’ s long! Has a dog student throw a book on cliffhangers I asked the librarian and the librarian ;! Mean jokes, library humor, humor library every day for more books is bad librarian jokes between... Be posted to our board the World, but you can ’ t deny their greatness and be... The post 70 Dad jokes that are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader Digest... Die Hardcover '' what did the surfer say to the latest search data available to us, jokes. Big tough guys read can I have a burger and some jokes are a few of our favorites just. Burden on the escalator for three hours section of the best medicine a snake speak. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and website in this browser for the next time I..

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